C O M M U N I C A T I O N F R A M E W O R K S
Tips for Teens
& Their Parents
Are there “secrets” of good communication? Navigating the transition of adolescence requires mutual understanding, active listening, and structured boundaries. Explore clinical insights and practical tips designed to bridge the gap and nurture healthy development.
What Adolescents Can Do
Practical steps for teens to foster healthy relations and gain responsible independence.
Avoid looking at your parents as the enemy.
Chances are that they love you and have your best interests in mind, even if you don’t necessarily agree with their way of showing that.
Try to understand that your parents are human beings.
They live with their own insecurities, needs, and feelings just like anyone else.
Listen to your parents with an open mind.
Take the time to understand alternative perspectives and try to see situations from their point of view.
Share your feelings with your parents.
Expressing your emotions directly allows them to know you and understand you better.
Live up to your responsibilities at home and in school.
By demonstrating reliability, your parents will be more inclined to grant you the kind of independence you want and need.
Bolster your criticisms with suggestions.
Provide constructive, practical suggestions for improvement whenever you challenge family, school, and government structures.
Be courteous and considerate.
Treat your own parents with the same level of respect and courtesy as you would the parents of your friends.
Guidelines for Parents
What parents can do to support and guide healthy adolescent development
Give them your undivided attention.
When your children want to talk, listen calmly and concentrate on hearing and understanding their point of view. Remember, your tone of voice can set the tone of a conversation.
Understand your childrens' feelings.
Acknowledge their emotions—even if you don’t always approve of their behaviour. Try not to make judgments, keeping the door open on any subject to remain approachable.
Help your children build self-confidence.
Encourage their active participation in extracurricular and social activities of their choice (not necessarily yours).
Teach them decision-making and accept that they may challenge your opinions.
Recognise when they make good decisions. Understand that children need to challenge your opinions and ways of doing things to achieve the separation essential for the formation of their own adult identity.
Allow your teen to make mistakes.
Overprotection or making decisions on their behalf can be perceived as a lack of faith in their abilities, which can significantly damage their confidence.
Replace shame and punishment with positive reinforcement.
When disciplining your child, focus on positive reinforcement for good behaviour. Shame and punishment can make an adolescent feel worthless and inadequate.
Helping your teen deal with peer pressure
Help your child understand what peer pressure is. They will be better able to resist negative influences if they understand what’s happening and why.
Reinforce the values that are important to you and your family.
Nurture your teen’s own abilities and self-esteem so that they are not as susceptible to the influences of others.
Teach your child how to be assertive and don’t forget to praise respectfully assertive behaviour.
Try to avoid telling your child what to do; instead, listen closely and you may discover more about the issues influencing your child’s behaviour.
Addressing substance use, including alcohol, tobacco and vaping, with your teen
Set a good example. If you smoke, drink heavily or use drugs, you are teaching your child that these behaviours are acceptable.
Teach your child that drugs, tobacco and alcohol can harm their bodies and that it’s OK to say “no.”
Teach your child how to avoid situations where others may be drinking, smoking or using drugs, and to choose friends who do not use these substances.
Know who your child’s friends are, and don’t allow your child to attend parties where there is no adult supervision.
Encourage your child to become involved in extra-curricular activities at school, a faith-based youth group, or other programmes that provide opportunities for teens to gather and socialise in a fun and safe environment.
C R I T I C A L C A R E A W A R E N E S S
Addressing Depression
& Suicide
It is common for teens to occasionally feel unhappy. However, when the unhappiness lasts for more than two weeks and the teen experiences additional symptoms, they may be suffering from depression.
There are many reasons why teenagers become unhappy. High-stress environments can lead to depression. Teens can develop feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy over school performance, social interaction, sexual orientation or family life. Often, depressed teens will display a striking change in their thinking and behavior, lose their motivation or become withdrawn. The following are the major signs of depression in adolescents:
Sadness, anxiety or a feeling of hopelessness
Staying awake at night and sleeping during the day
Loss of interest in food or compulsive overeating resulting in rapid weight loss or gain
Withdrawal from friends
Rebellious behaviour, sudden drop in grades or skipping school
Complaints of pain, including headaches, stomachaches, low back pain or fatigue
Use of alcohol or drugs and promiscuous sexual activity (common coping mechanisms)
Preoccupation with death and dying (often a cry for help indicating serious depression)
Depression is a serious problem, but it is also treatable.
If you suspect your teen is depressed, tell your child’s health care professional and seek help right away.
Warning signs of suicide
Suicide is a serious problem within the teen population.
Warning signs of suicide include:
Threatening to kill oneself
Preparing for death, giving away favourite possessions, writing goodbye letters or making a will
Expressing hopelessness for the future
Giving up on oneself, talking as if no one else cares
If your teenager displays any of these behaviours, you should seek help from a mental health professional immediately.
Talking to Your Teen
About Sex
Talking with your teenager is important to help him or her develop healthy attitudes toward sex and to learn responsible sexual behaviour. Openly discussing sex with your teen also enables you to provide accurate information. After all, teens will learn about sex somewhere. But what they learn might not be true, and might not reflect the personal and moral values and principles you want your children to follow. In addition, teens need to understand the possible consequences of being sexually active — including pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, as well as being emotionally traumatised or hurt.
When you talk to your teen about sex, focus on the facts.
Consider using the following list of topics as an outline:
01
Explanation of anatomy, reproduction and fertility in males and females
02
Sexual intercourse and pregnancy
03
The physical and emotional aspects of sex, including the differences between males and females
04
Other forms of sexual behaviour, including oral sex, masturbation and petting
05
Sexual orientation
06
Self-image and peer pressure
07
Sexually transmitted diseases
08
Rape and date rape, including how being intoxicated or accepting rides/going to private places with strangers puts you at risk.
09
How choice of clothing and the way you present yourself sends messages to others about your interest in sexual behaviour